Aroldo emailed to say that Marjorie is in the hospital with pneumonia and that Jose’ is not doing well emotionally. He has told me repeatedly he would rather die than stay on dialysis foever. He is nearing 18 so he has been blessed with a longer life expectancy than anyone believed & needs to be appreciative of what God has done.
But he did say that Luis was acting much better. And the mother of Keiser has agreed to be tested to see if she can donate her kidney to him. So everyday we can expect God to do something marvelous.
Paul wrote that the things he wanted to do he would not do and the things he did not want to do he did so easily. I live where Paul lived. I want to get victory over worry and depression but struggle. I want to reach 10,000 children but have only reached 5,000 and my life clock is ticking. I want to be a better father and husband but fail. I want to control my emotions but seldom do.
What is the basic problem? It is Eros. It is self-love. It is selfishness. Eros never gives us real value. You can be a football fan who is consumed by your team and that team can even win a national championship. You buy a shirt or jacket with their logo because you are a winner. But then that team fails to win another championship and now your identity is lost. Your value was in their winning. It was in the selfish believe that somehow if LSU wins I also am a winner.
But the truth is I do EROS (love) LSU but Eros cannot give me my value. AGAPE gives me value. Once I love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my strength and all of mind then the battle ceases to rage within me. I do not need my team or my child or my wife or my church or my country to win in order for me to be a winner.
I win because I APAPE. When I love you with His love my inward wars fade away. My identity is based on His love for me and His DNA placed within me at salvation. I am a winner because I am His child.